Oh my! It has been awhile since I posted anything! I am so sorry lol! I have been busy with the wee one and trying to get everything back to normal around here. Thats a hard thing to do.
Anyways!
Yes fall has arrived and the weather is getting cooler and the days shorter. The leaves are turning to their wonderful colors. I love when they change. Its so gorgeous. I wish I could get some photos but we never leave this damn place. I hate it so much.
O well. Nadia is doing ok. She has to be at least 10 lbs now. She has been eating like crazy lately. She is up to 5 ounces now. We had to up her feeding because she wasnt getting full and fussing for a bottle an hour later. Not fun.
Well I have been getting my headache back again. YAY me... Not.
They are a pain in the ass and I wish I didn't get them.
What else is there.....
Stephen and I have been fighting again and it feels like we are growing apart. We barely talk and he never tells me that he loves me.. I have to say it first and when he says it I dont think that he means it, not like he did when we got together. I am almost miserable. Hell I am... I want to go back home to IN. I miss it there. I miss all my friends and all my family. I feel like I never got to live my 20s and now I am 26 and my life is dull and boring... Yes I have 3 wonderful girls but hell I didn't get to go out to the bar like my brothers did and still do. I feel like a HUGE disappointment to my family.. They are so proud of Lee and Cory.. Never once have I been told that. Never.. You know why. Because I havent done anything but be a screw up.. Yulp. Im a screw up.
Everyone tells me don't screw this up and don't screw that up.. You know what. Its not just all my fault! I am so sick of it being my fault.. That is all I hear.
Im tired of it and im not taking it anymore. Yes I know I am a screw up. So what. I guess I will always be one and never have a happy marriage and family..
Sorry to disappoint you all....
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Stressed..
Its been a few since I have wrote a blog. I am sorry to those of you that actually read my blog. I have been so busy with Nadia and trying to get the house work caught up with. I dont think I have gotten anything caught up since we have been home from the hospital. From trying to get some sleep and Nadia being really fussy the last couple of days nothing has gotten done. We did get her photos taken and got them back. They were so good. I will post them one day when I scan them and what not. Right now its Saturday night and I finally got Nadia to sleep and I am able to relax and try to get rid of this headache that I have had the last two days. Not fun at all. Especially when you have a baby screaming in your face.
I have been having problems with my emotions lately. I have been very depressed and stressed out. My hormones have been running really wild lately. One min i will be fine and the next I dont want to be around any people at all. Stephen hasn't really helped with it at all. All he wants to do is sit around INSIDE the house and I like to get out and at least go to the park. Hell even when we do go out he gets an attitude problem or something. he never talks to me anymore and just sits on his computer. Ya he helps with Nadia but he doesn't help to make me somewhat happy. Well on my Birthday (which was on the 2nd of October) he did get me an awesome digital picture frame that has a lot of cool little settings on it and what not. I love it. That made my day. It was really sweet of him to get that for me. I just wish that I could get something for him for his birthday. This is why I would love to have a job but he doesn't want me to get a job. Which I have no idea why. Its not like he is working at all.
Oh ya on that topic. He went to his doctors on the 4th and they told him that he cant work for another month again. He starts physical therapy on this monday. I do hope that it gets better because I am sick of him just laying around the house and being a grump because he can't work anymore. Its real annoying. I know that Im not always the happiest person to be around but it would be nice to get outside and get some fresh air. O well. So is my life I guess.
I have been having problems with my emotions lately. I have been very depressed and stressed out. My hormones have been running really wild lately. One min i will be fine and the next I dont want to be around any people at all. Stephen hasn't really helped with it at all. All he wants to do is sit around INSIDE the house and I like to get out and at least go to the park. Hell even when we do go out he gets an attitude problem or something. he never talks to me anymore and just sits on his computer. Ya he helps with Nadia but he doesn't help to make me somewhat happy. Well on my Birthday (which was on the 2nd of October) he did get me an awesome digital picture frame that has a lot of cool little settings on it and what not. I love it. That made my day. It was really sweet of him to get that for me. I just wish that I could get something for him for his birthday. This is why I would love to have a job but he doesn't want me to get a job. Which I have no idea why. Its not like he is working at all.
Oh ya on that topic. He went to his doctors on the 4th and they told him that he cant work for another month again. He starts physical therapy on this monday. I do hope that it gets better because I am sick of him just laying around the house and being a grump because he can't work anymore. Its real annoying. I know that Im not always the happiest person to be around but it would be nice to get outside and get some fresh air. O well. So is my life I guess.
Im going to go for now and try to relax some more. My heads killing me.
Night yall
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