Fall

Oh my!  It has been awhile since I posted anything!  I am so sorry lol!  I have been busy with the wee one and trying to get everything back to normal around here.  Thats a hard thing to do.
Anyways!
Yes fall has arrived and the weather is getting cooler and the days shorter.  The leaves are turning to their wonderful colors.  I love when they change. Its so gorgeous.  I wish I could get some photos but we never leave this damn place.  I hate it so much.
O well.  Nadia is doing ok. She has to be at least 10 lbs now.  She has been eating like crazy lately.  She is up to 5 ounces now.  We had to up her feeding because she wasnt getting full and fussing for a bottle an hour later.  Not fun.
Well I have been getting my headache back again.  YAY me... Not.
They are a pain in the ass and I wish I didn't get them.
What else is there.....
Stephen and I have been fighting again and it feels like we are growing apart.  We barely talk and he never tells me that he loves me.. I have to say it first and when he says it I dont think that he means it, not like he did when we got together.  I am almost miserable.  Hell I am... I want to go back home to IN.  I miss it there.  I miss all my friends and all my family.  I feel like I never got to live my 20s and now I am 26 and my life is dull and boring... Yes I have 3 wonderful girls but hell I didn't get to go out to the bar like my brothers did and still do.  I feel like a HUGE disappointment to my family.. They are so proud of Lee and Cory.. Never once have I been told that.  Never..  You know why.  Because I havent done anything but be a screw up.. Yulp.  Im a screw up.
Everyone tells me don't screw this up and don't screw that up.. You know what.  Its not just all my fault!  I am so sick of it being my fault.. That is all I hear.
Im tired of it and im not taking it anymore.  Yes I know I am a screw up.  So what.  I guess I will always be one and never have a happy marriage and family..

Sorry to disappoint you all....